Confessions of a “Cracked” Developer: My Arsenal of Digital Grime

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we’re diving into the glorious, slightly greasy, and undeniably “cracked” world of a truly seasoned developer. Forget your trendy IDEs and your perfectly manicured keyboards; we’re talking about the tools of the trade for those who’ve seen the matrix and decided to rewrite it in Bash.

“Cracked” Code: A Developer’s Arsenal of Glorious Grime

Let’s start with the throne, shall we? A Herman Miller chair. Not because it’s fancy, mind you, but because after 18 hours of debugging a memory leak, your spine deserves a luxury condo. Forget plush cushions; we’re talking ergonomic support that whispers, “You’re a genius, now fix that segfault.”

Then there’s the monitor setup—a veritable wall of screens. Four, minimum. Horizontal, vertical, it doesn’t matter. It’s like a digital command center, or, as my grandma would say, “a nest of glowing rectangles.” You’ll have code on one, documentation on another, Grafana dashboards screaming about CPU spikes on the third, and a cat video on the fourth, because even “cracked” devs need a break.

The keyboard? Oh, it’s a battle-scarred veteran. Keys worn smooth, maybe a few missing, definitely a questionable stain or two. It’s not about aesthetics; it’s about the feel, the tactile feedback that whispers, “You’re one keystroke away from solving everything… or causing a cascading failure.” And the mouse? Dusty, possibly held together with tape. It’s seen better days, but it gets the job done. Because let’s be honest, who has time for a mouse upgrade when you’re wrestling with legacy code?

Now, let’s talk languages. C++. Not the trendy, shiny new languages, but good old, memory-managing, segfault-prone C++. We’re talking GCC, Google Test, and CMake, because if you can’t build it from source, are you even a real developer? And don’t forget Bash and Python, because every “cracked” dev knows the power of a well-placed script.

Concepts? Oh, we’ve got concepts. Operating systems, networking, concurrency, distributed systems—you name it, we’ve debugged it. We’re not just writing code; we’re sculpting digital symphonies, and we need to know every instrument in the orchestra.

Monitoring and logging? Grafana dashboards that look like a spaceship control panel, Prometheus or InfluxDB storing metrics that would make a statistician weep, and the ELK stack, because logs are the breadcrumbs that lead you to the bugs. And Sentry? That’s our digital therapist, whispering, “It’s okay, you’ll fix it… eventually.”

Source control? Bitbucket or GitLab, because even “cracked” devs need to collaborate (begrudgingly). And Git? We know it like the back of our hands. We’ve wrestled with merge conflicts, resurrected lost branches, and rewritten history more times than we care to admit.

Development environment? Vim and Tmux, of course. Because why use a fancy IDE when you can have the raw, unadulterated power of the command line? Or, if you’re feeling fancy, VS Code with a Vim extension, because you’re a complex individual. And Linux, naturally. Red Hat or Arch, because why use an OS that holds your hand when you can build it yourself?

Docker, gRPC, Protobuf, CFA (if you’re feeling really adventurous), and databases galore—we’ve got it all. Q/kdb for the time-series wizards, MongoDB or Cassandra for the NoSQL enthusiasts, and MySQL or PostgreSQL for the SQL purists. Because a “cracked” developer is a jack-of-all-trades, a master of debugging, and a connoisseur of caffeinated beverages.

So, there you have it—the glorious, slightly grimy, and undeniably “cracked” world of a seasoned developer. It’s not about the latest gadgets or the trendiest tools; it’s about the knowledge, the experience, and the sheer, unadulterated love of solving problems. And maybe, just maybe, a little bit of madness.


Just if you were too lazy to read all this, here’s a quick summary of all the listed tools .

Note: The office environment part is just a joke 🐍

CategoryTool/ConceptDescriptionDetailsLinks
Office EnvironmentHerman Miller ChairHigh-end ergonomic office chair.Known for comfort and adjustability, promoting good posture.Herman Miller Official Site
Multi-Monitor SetupMultiple displays for increased productivity.Can be horizontal or vertical, allowing for more visible workspace.Multi-Monitor Setup Guide
Unspecified KeyboardIndicates a heavily used keyboard.Often a mechanical keyboard favored by programmers.Mechanical Keyboard Guide
Old Speakers (Logitech)Basic audio output.Indicates focus on functionality over aesthetics.Logitech Speakers
Old/Broken HeadsetCommunication tool.May indicate a focus on functionality over appearance.Headset Guide
Old/Dusty MouseInput device.May indicate less focus on peripherals.Mouse Guide
Languages & FrameworksGCC with Google TestC++ compiler and testing framework.GCC is the GNU Compiler Collection. Google Test is a C++ testing framework.GCC, Google Test
CMakeCross-platform build system.Used to manage the build process for C++ projects.CMake
C++ 17/20/23Modern C++ standards.Feature-rich versions of the C++ language.C++ Standards
Conan & ArtifactoryC++ package manager and artifact repository.Manages dependencies and stores build artifacts.Conan, Artifactory
BashUnix shell and command language.Used for scripting and command-line operations.GNU Bash
Python with PoetryPython package manager and dependency management.Poetry simplifies Python dependency management.Python, Poetry
Fundamental ConceptsOperating SystemsSoftware that manages computer hardware and software resources.Essential for understanding how software interacts with hardware.Operating Systems Guide
NetworkingConnecting devices and systems.Understanding network protocols and architectures.Networking Basics
ConcurrencyExecuting multiple tasks simultaneously.Essential for performance in modern systems.Concurrency Guide
Software DesignDesigning and structuring software systems.Focus on maintainability, scalability, and efficiency.Software Design Principles
Design PatternsReusable solutions to common software design problems.Proven solutions for common design challenges.Design Patterns
Computer ArchitectureUnderstanding how computer components work together.Essential for optimizing software for specific hardware.Computer Architecture Basics
Optimization TechniquesImproving software performance and efficiency.Methods for reducing resource usage and execution time.Optimization Techniques
Distributed SystemsSystems spread across multiple computers.Essential for scalability and reliability.Distributed Systems Concepts
Debugging SkillsIdentifying and fixing software errors.Crucial for software development and maintenance.Debugging Guide
Monitoring & LoggingGrafanaData visualization and monitoring.Used to create dashboards and visualize metrics.Grafana
Prometheus/InfluxDBTime-series databases.Used for storing and querying metrics.Prometheus, InfluxDB
Elastic Stack (ELK)Log management and analysis.Logstash, Elasticsearch, and Kibana.Elastic Stack
Human/Binary LogsDifferent formats for storing log data.Human-readable logs for debugging, binary logs for performance.Logging Best Practices
SentryApplication monitoring and error tracking.Used to monitor application health and capture errors.Sentry
Source ControlBitbucket/GitLabGit-based code hosting platforms.Used for version control and collaboration.Bitbucket, GitLab
GitDistributed version control system.Essential for managing code changes.Git
Development EnvironmentVim & TmuxText editor and terminal multiplexer.Highly efficient tools for command-line development.Vim, Tmux
Linux (Red Hat/Arch)Open-source operating systems.Popular among developers for flexibility and control.Red Hat, Arch Linux
VS Code/Visual Studio with Vim ExtensionCode editors with Vim emulation.Combines the power of modern IDEs with Vim’s efficiency.VS Code, Visual Studio
WSL (Windows Subsystem for Linux)Runs a Linux environment on Windows.Allows developers to use Linux tools on Windows.WSL
DockerContainerization platform.Used to package and deploy applications in containers.Docker
IPC & MessagingPipes & Message SocketsIntra-process communication.Used for communication within a single host.Pipes, Sockets
gRPC & ProtobufInter-process communication.Used for communication between hosts.gRPC, Protobuf
CFA/BlazingMQMessaging brokers.Used for asynchronous communication between systems.(Information on CFA is limited, BlazingMQ is from Bloomberg) BlazingMQ
DatabasesQ/kdbTime-series database.Used in finance for high-performance time-series analysis.kdb+
DolphinDB/InfluxDB/TimescaleTime-series databases.Used for storing and querying time-stamped data.DolphinDB, InfluxDB, Timescale
MongoDB/CassandraNoSQL databases.Used for flexible data storage and scalability.MongoDB, Cassandra
MySQL/PostgreSQLSQL databases.Used for relational data storage and querying.MySQL, PostgreSQL

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